The Bane Of My Existance
by xAleighx
Summary: Bette and Shane get down and dirty one afternoon


The Bane of my existence

By A. J. Carstairs

Disclaimer: I do not own The L Word, or any characters from said production, all characters and events in this fan fiction are fictitious.

Pairing: Bette and Shane a.k.a Bane =D

So basically, I got this idea - originally it was a dream [great dream =D] - on my way home from my friend's house, she lives in the city while I'm stuck out in suburbia, so the trains were stopped and there were buses and with nothing else to do I let my dirty little mind fall helplessly into the gutter. Bette and Shane, which I never knew could be so hot until I had this random dream

Genre: Romance/humour

Note: Some relationships and incidents have been omitted in my story, so if you're wondering why there were people left out or details which seem unlike the show, that's why. After all it's a fan fiction things are bound to change.

Chapter 1

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"Are you coming to the Planet tonight?" Came Shane's voice over the receiver

"Yeah, who else is gonna be there?" Bette's voice replied

"Alice, Helena, Tina…everyone we know really" Shane said not bothering to give an entire list of names

"Is Jenny going to be there?" Bette questioned bitterly

"Yeah I think so" Shane replied, pretending to have no idea as to why Bette was so loathsome towards her roommate

Alice, Helena, Tina, Max, Jenny, Kit and Dana were sitting at a table talking, laughing and waiting for the arrival of Shane and Bette.

"So, what do you girls think of Billie?" Kit asked the group timidly as though craving their approval

"He's nice" Dana said trying to break the silence of the group and hide the disapproval of one or more of their girlfriends.

"Hey, look who it is!" Alice announced, relieved to be off the topic of Kit's new manager

"Shane" Jenny smiled and embraced her room mate

"Where's Bette?" Tina enquired

"Uh, you know I think she's still getting ready" Shane replied

"Evening Ladies" Bette greeted her friends

The group sat down again to enjoy the show, Billie had managed to secure the B-52s.

"Jesus Kit it's packed!" Shane yelled over the noise

"I'm just going to the bathroom" Bette yelled

The group nodded, while Shane found herself fixated on Bette's swaying hips, so without drawing too much attention, she told the rest of the group she was going for another drink, and pushed her way through the crowd to catch up with Bette

"Hey Shane" Bette greeted Shane who was casually leaning against the sinks watching Bette intently. "Mmm, I know that look."

"What look?" Shane inquired, knowing somewhere deep inside she'd just been busted.

"That 'I wanna take you home and fuck you til the sun comes up' look"

Shane seemed astonished at Bette's description of her 'look', which quickly turned to one of shock

"Shane, we're great as friends, but as lovers we'd be worlds apart."

Shane continued to look at Bette in shock, and however hard she tried to hide this, Bette could see right through her. Bette dried her hands and walked back to the door when Shane's voice stopped her

"I just came to ask if you're still coming over to watch Dana's match tomorrow"

Bette smirked and nodded

The next day Shane was sitting in the little recliner she had claimed long ago, beer in one hand, cigarette in the other mulling over Bette's statement last night. As if Shane was really going to let a little thing like 'common sense' get in the way of sleeping with her friend

"Shane, can you get that!" Came Jenny's voice from the kitchen, suddenly reality was flooding back to Shane, and she finally registered that there was someone at the front door.

"Hang on" Shane yelled, she got up and opened the door to be greeted by Bette

"Hello Shane" Bette smirked at a semi-speechless Shane

"Hey"

"Who is it?" Jenny Called

"Hey Jenny" Bette replied

"Would you like to sit down?" Shane offered

Bette nodded and sat on the couch while Shane came to sit beside her

"I thought about what you said last night" Shane offered

"Oh did you now?" Bette teased

"Mmm-hmm, I don't care" Shane said before lunging at Bette, who didn't protest but allowed Shane entry to her mouth, their tongues dancing with each other, causing the women to grow hotter by the second.

"You're both very quiet out there" Jenny called to them, forcing them apart quickly

"We're just watching TV, Jen" Shane said turning the volume up on the television and turning back to Bette, who pushes Shane off gently shaking her head with the self-control only an older woman could posses.

"Why?" Shane whispers, disappointment etched in her features, like a 5 year old who was just denied a trip to the zoo.

"Too risky" Bette whispered back.

Lucky too, because at that moment Jenny walked into the living room

"Alright, I'll be back in about 20 minutes, I just need a few things for the salad."

Bette and Shane nodded and said their goodbyes as Jenny left the pair alone on the couch.

Immediately Shane lunged at Bette again, who pushed her off shaking her head at Shane

"No Shane." Bette said laughter riddled through her words

Shane shrugged and simply sat between Bette's legs, facing away from her, Shane let her head drop back between Bette's legs, making her jolt and look down at an innocent faced Shane.

"What are you doing?" Bette asked, knowing exactly what she was doing.

"Nothing" Shane said calmly, she arched her back, pushing up against Bette's crotch again, sending chills down Bette's spin, and a spiral of liquid fire through her hips.

"Your nipples are erect" Shane pointed out, and quickly before Bette could register, Shane gently bit her nipple through the material of her shirt and bra, drawing a moan from Bette.

"Fuck"

Shane smiled victoriously, and slid her hands up the back of Bette's shirt, her teeth still pulling gently at Bette's nipple

"Yes please" Shane said, her hands travelling from Bette's back to her stomach, her fingers tip-toeing down Bette's skin to the fabric of her pants, Shane's mouth had found the pulse in Bette's neck, sucking gently to distract her friend from her busy fingers which were working Bette out of her pants.

Bette's moans were music to Shane's ears as she finally removed her pants, tossing them to some obscure corner of the living room, Bette's moans intensified when Shane's mouth moved suddenly from her neck to the small wet patch on her underwear, causing Bette to buck her hips.

"Shane, we shouldn't be doing this here." Bette tried half-heartedly to get Shane to listen to reason.

"Why not? It's my house, the door's locked and Jenny's gone for at least 20 minutes" Shane's voice was muffled against Bette's crotch, the vibrations of Shane's voice hitting Bette's clit, causing another loud moan to escape her.

"No, Shane, she left 20 minutes ago, she'll be back any second."

"You obviously don't know Jenny's equivalent of 20 minutes" Shane said snidely

Bette was gripping onto the couch for dear life as Shane licked her through her panties, her hand snaking through the side of Bette's knickers to play with her clit as Shane moved back up Bette's body

"Uh, S-Shane…" Bette moaned, still trying to get Shane to listen to her common sense.

"Mmm?" Shane said absent-mindedly, her fingers brushing Bette's outer lips gently, while Bette's grip on the couch became tighter.

Shane crushed her lips against Bette's and plunged a finger inside her causing Bette to shake as a wave of pleasure shot through her

"Shane…." Bette had just stopped trying to fight Shane's advance and let herself sink into it, her grip loosening, she pulled Shane atop her, helping Shane remove her underwear.

Shane's hand had left Bette's centre for a moment, but quickly returned, this time thrusting two fingers in and out of Bette quickly, her hips moving in time with her hand

"Harder" Bette whispered, arching her back as Shane's thrusts became more fierce

"Uhh! Fuck, S-Shane"

Shane smiled she loved it when women screamed her name, she moved her thumb so it was settled on Bette's clit, she put pressure on it, causing Bette's hips to jolt under Shane

Outside, Jenny was just about to turn into the drive way, not realising her now half naked roommate and next door neighbour where fucking in the lounge room

Back inside, Bette had one leg on Shane's shoulder as she thrust fast and hard into Bette, who was nearing her climax

Outside, Jenny had pulled up into the driveway, and was sorting her bags

Inside, Bette was clinging to Shane, kissing her passionately, Shane was swallowing her moans as Bette's walls started to tighten around Shane's fingers, making her thrusts more difficult

Outside, Jenny had her bags and just locked up the car, she was headed up the steps when she heard a voice and turned to greet the gang

Inside, Bette's climax ripped through her, leaving red scratch marks down Shane's back, her hips buckling madly under Shane's hand, while Shane gave out a soft low groan in response to the searing red marks covering her bear back.

Outside, the group was chatting about Dana's match, when Alice noticed it was due to begin in just five minutes, the group made for the door hastily

Inside, Shane had collapsed atop of a nearly naked Bette, panting when she heard footsteps near the door, they quickly forgot their fatigue and started hunting for their strewn clothing

Outside, Jenny was searching for her keys which she had thrown into her handbag upon seeing the group, finding them in a small pocket of darkness situated in the bottom left corner of her Prada bag, she finds her house key and sticks it in the lock

Inside, Shane and Bette are scrambling to re dress themselves, Bette having finally found her pants, and get them back on was now trying to fix her sex-hair, while Shane was ready and dressed, no one would notice if she had sex hair anyway, so her attention was now turned to distracting the others while Bette went to the bathroom to freshen up.

Outside, the door opened and the group poured into the living room, Shane calmly greeted the women as though nothing had happened in their absence.

"Where's Bette?" Jenny inquired

"She's just in the bathroom" Shane replied

"The game's about to start, someone should go get her" Tina said

"Alright, I'll be back in a sec" Shane said, walking up the hallway to the bathroom

Shane knocked on the door "Bette, it's just me"

Bette opened the door to let Shane in and smiled at her "Hey"

"The games about to start, you ready?" Shane asked

Bette nodded hiding the disappointment that she felt at knowing Shane hadn't come here to fondle her again, it made her wonder if it was just a one off thing, a conquest when her thoughts were interrupted by Shane's soft lips touching hers in a gentle, loving kiss, and all her worries washed away.

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Author's Comments: Ok, so I'm thinking of making a second chapter, maybe more Read and Review, tell me what you think and if you'd like to see more of this pairing.


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